PART 1 of 11
I shoulda known this hookup was a bad idea from the jump! More times than not, hookups just don’t work out. I mean think about it - the very idea of somebody playing matchmaker brings whole
new meaning to the word ‘overrated’!!! One of these days I’ve gotta stop thinking with my dick…
TIANNA: “Naw nigga…I ain’t crazy! I know what I just heard!"
Her voice was high-pitched through the phone, and she was obviously mad. This is that BULLSHIT!
ME: “Girl I don’t know what the hell you talking about…”
TIANNA: “So why it take you so long to answer? AND I called you twice!”
ME: “Maaan I just said my phone was in the other room girl! You tripping….for real dude.”
TIANNA: “No I’m NOT! Just be real Rodney! You telling me you don’t know who I’m talking about?”
ME: “I have no idea…”
TIANNA: “You lying!!! Oh my God - both of y’all are some liars!!!! I swear….niggaz ain't about shit!!!”
ME: “Man ain’t nobody got time for this shit man. I’m bout to hang up on you…”
TIANNA: “You better not fucking hang up on me nigga! I swear to God - don’t hang up on me boy! You caught - just man up and admit it!"
I exhale in frustration, shaking my head. This bitch is really tripping. I can tell she’s not gonna let this shit go. Maybe it’s time to just cut her loose…cut our ties now before it gets too outta hand. Sometimes you gotta know when to fold them, and the way Tianna is going off in my ear right at this moment…I’m feeling like it may be a lost cause. But damn, she got some good pussy…I’m not sure if I’m ready to give it up yet! Somehow…someway….I’ve gotta maneuver around this block she just threw in the road. I’ve gotta figure out a way to calm her down and get back on her good side….at least so there’s no drama after this.
What Tianna thinks is true can only be followed up by a #SistaSnapped episode…she’s gonna be ready to resort to violence if she believes this shit.
I need to cover my bases…backtrack my steps…make sure I can see if there’s a way outta this for me. Right now, it’s not looking good. She’s all but convinced.
ME (quietly) : “Yeah I’m still here. You wilding out right now…”
TIANNA (screaming excitedly) : “Oh my God - no I’m not nigga!!! I know yo damn voice by now!! I know what I heard - you not bout to make it out like I’m crazy!
That was you!!!”
ME: “How was it me when you on the phone with me now?
That don’t even make sense!”
TIANNA: “Yeah well that’s what I’m trying to figure out. I think I know…hmmm….yeah I think I got a good idea what’s going on.”
ME: “What’s going on T?”
I ask out of real curiosity….to see how she’s going to reply. What the hell is she thinking??? This shit is crazy man. This is the last time I let a nigga hook me up, I promise you. Fuck me!!! I mean really…I should have thought this whole thing through. How else could I expect this random hookup to play out? Truth of the matter is - I barely know this girl and she most definitely knows little about me. The way all of this started…it was bound to lead to this point….only a matter of time.
And why is she taking so long to answer my question? I suddenly notice that she’s now silent on the other end.
At the same time she speaks, I hear a phone ring in the back of the room behind me. Heart skipping a beat…I immediately freeze up.
My head starts to spin rapidly…and I bite my lip in desperation.
My thoughts flash back to the night all of this started….
The Monday night after #KeLLysRevenge…
I stood there in my towel for a few minutes after hanging up the phone, gathering my thoughts.
This shit was really turning into a tangled web. I wasn’t quite sure if I had lost the upper hand completely yet, but I was at least regaining ground. I mean let’s be honest…I never woulda found out Kelly was cheating in the first place if I wasn’t cheating. That’s the whole beauty of The Art of Cheating - it has a crazy way of bringing everything full circle.
Cookie was my mistress, my #2. It’s kinda how the cards all fell in place during senior year at CMSU, I can’t say it was planned out. The summer before was wild, and while I did have a scheme to go out with a bang….before the fall semester I hadn’t even met Kelly or Cookie & neither of them were on my roster. Kelly was a sophomore transfer from TSU in the Fall of '01 and had a boyfriend. Cookie was a freshman & 1st-year student from St. Louis. I was actually completely free & non-committed at the time - meaning I didn’t have a girl as my main…so I, naturally - I was having my cake & eating it too.
Even when you’re ‘single', The Art of Cheating is alive and well. In fact, that’s where many of you average joes get your feet wet with being sneaky…when you don’t answer to anybody - that’s when you will lie to a muhfucka right in their face if they question you about where you’ve been or who you’ve been with. And since you don’t owe anybody an explanation, you tend to equate ‘explanation’ with ‘truth’….and subconsciously find yourself lying to who you’re involved with, keeping your stable in tact by not letting them know they’re actually part of a stable. Oh sure, you’ll let it be known that you see other people…but you don’t tell all the details or facts behind what you’re doing with others…it’s a competition for a position at that point. They don’t need to know all’at. Just like any other candidate selection process…the individual candidates never truly know what’s being done or said in the others’ interviews. It’s on them to be the best they can be if they wanna be chose...
But see, at this point, I was in no shape or form looking for a committed relationship as a college senior. In fact, I was on a mission to fuck as many chicks as I could before I graduated. And like I said before, the summer before was WILD. I must’ve banged 15 new chicks that summer alone - a record for me, maybe even a record for my peers if I remember it correctly. My high school crew was made up of a bunch of hound ass niggas (sorry fellas). Every summer since high school, we all participated in the race…voluntarily or not, the fuck count stat was kept between us. Like the last 2 summers before…this time it came down to the same top 3 - myself, Tre, and Lonnie.
Lonnie & Tre were sideways hating on my #15, and alleging that I was only getting more action because I was a Kappa now. There could have been SLIGHT truth to that - I mean it’s no secret that the Nupes had a fan club that I took pure advantage of. Everybody is famous at some point, right? But hell…these niggaz also knew I was getting pussy before pledging - the summer of 98 I beat out Tre, Bay, and Blayze with the #FuckCount and only came 2nd to Lonnie. So in 2001 it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to anybody that I would get the crown again….I wasn’t new to this. And both Lonnie and Tre had cars too…so they had the advantage on me for YEARS. Nobody wanted to talk about that shit. But whatever. It was no way I could lose once I switched my roster to chicks who had cars only.
Going into my senior year in 2001, there was only one chick in the Burg I was fucking with…we won’t say her name - but she was an AKA and she had a Cadillac Escalade truck. Things were kinda taking a turn for the worse with her, so I knew once fall semester started…I needed to recruit early.
And that I did...
Cookie had a small frame, fat ass booty, and a car with low miles. 3 weeks into the 1st semester of 2001 I was banging that 3 times a week. She was just what I needed as a senior…a young freak from the suburbs with hormones raging outta control. And she let me eat off her meal plan in the cafeteria on demand. Perfect situationship - by midterms, she was the main chick on my roster.
All of this was before Kelly….before I even noticed Kelly on campus. Once Kells was in the picture, Cookie had some competition on campus. Kelly was a year older, had her own car…and from my hometown KC.
So naturally…there’s always been tension between Kelly & Cookie. Cookie hated the fact that I ended up in a relationship with Kelly after I graduated and left campus for a while. But still…she never stopped fucking wit a nigga.
Cookie stayed around after she found out about Kelly and she’s been around to see me and Kelly fall out tonight.
She’s not gonna let this shit go.
And I’m not even sure what I’m gonna do with Kelly now after all of this shit. All I know is I’m on my way for some makeup sex…I’m horny as fuck…and ready to release some frustration. Cookie is getting on my fuckin nerves right now….and she’s pressing me about ending shit with Kelly…and I don’t know if I believe Kelly fucked this other nigga or not. Tonight is all about one last nut.
I just need some space from all of this shit.
I start to get dressed, throwing on some jogging pants & a hoodie. I realize that if I do move out of Kelly’s & back to KC…I’ll be giving up my in-house……AND leaving my #2 behind in the Burg. And I can’t get on the highway every time I need some pussy….right?
That means I have to fucking start over. I can’t be sitting around with no pussy to pull up on…that’s just unacceptable. And I haven’t lived back in KC for a MINUTE now…I’ve been back in the Burg with Kelly playing house far too long.
I’m gonna need to reach out to my old resources.
I’m gonna need somebody to hook me up….