The strongest love...can also be the most dangerous love to pursue. If you've ever had that toxic type of love, you know how hard it is to
shake. Is it ever really possible....to detox without relapse???
Good evening & Happy Humpday to all my admitted cheaters & those still in denial! Wow. It's been a
while. How could I have left y'all for so long....???
Well at least I can say I've spent a lot of time on doing what I love the most. Writing gets tough at times though. Especially when you create from the emotional angle...which is something I can't help but do. Emotions can be a muhfucka. They're like hallucinate drugs...forever embedded in your system and ready to re-emerge at anytime.
You ever had a love that was toxic? Naw.....I don't think y'all know what I'm talking about...I'm talking that real TOXIC LOVE.
That toxic love is both the best & the worst type of love to experience....
It's the best because the chemistry is so outta this world...I mean you know it just feels like the combination of you & this other being fit and mesh so well together, the sparks fly so effortlessly...so freely and natural. You can't mistake it, it's like 2 puzzle pieces with a perfect fit. The connection is real....it's heavy. It's powerful.
But then, at the same time...it's the worst type of love because the chemistry is so hazardous. The mixture of the different elements quickly becomes a poison that looks & tastes so surprisingly heavenly...but burns like hellfire upon digest. You know it's not good for you in the long run, all the signs are there when the waters aren't calm. But you can't shake the attachment....you can't bring yourself to facing the potential greater evil that comes along with the withdrawal.
How long does the withdrawal process last? How long does it take to escape a toxic relationship that you can't get enough of? You can be years removed from even seeing that person's irresistible face....or hearing their voice of persuasion - and think you've gotten over that painful history. But then the slightest reminder hits you. Maybe it's a picture like the one above...where you get caught staring, wondering how that captured moment ever ended. Maybe you hear a song or see a clip that makes you think about how in sync the 2 of you once were....how you seemed inseparable just days before being at each other's throats for the very last time. Your anger...your pain....your hurt behind the situation has subsided, and now you can't recall why you had so much hatred in your heart. You get the urge to check up on them...you suddenly feel comfortable enough to see yourself opening up lines of communication again. After all...you've never felt that connection y'all once had with anyone after - I mean, it hasn't been the same....not quite.
Could it have worked under different circumstance? Things have changed in your life now....it's hard not to wonder if it all coulda been different. If only we were both just a little more mature...if only we were both just a little more aware of self...
I once had a love like this...so toxic. It's hard to meet another soul who's almost a mirror image of yourself - mentally and emotionally identical, with only age and gender drawing the line. It's hard to let go of someone you shared your dreams & nightmares with...without death forcing the hand. It's hard tapping into those memories...to self-reflect and remember life checkpoints. For me...it's even more of a challenge to write stories inspired by real life pain and experiences.
If this is my detox...sometimes I fear it could take a lifetime...
What's your detox?
How did you rid your heart of the toxins that never seem to vanish completely???
The longer I stare at this picture....the more I need these answers...
Or is a relapse only a matter of time for us all...????
Leave comments...let's discuss...